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Weirdness Magnet.

whut

I have an odd talent I’m not sure you’re aware of. For some reason, wherever I go, weird things find me. Here’s an example. I stopped at a red light while making my way home one day and happened to glance over at a guy standing on the corner. He was looking right at me, and we totally made eye contact. Not noteworthy at all, except that he had HALF A MUSTACHE. He had like, a straight-up Reno 911 ‘stache, except he had shaved off the right half of it. Why do I always see stuff like that? I have come to the conclusion that it’s just me, and I am just awesome enough that the universe presents me with these regularly scheduled glimpses of the wackier side of mankind. It must be just me, because it’s rare that people ever tell ME stories like this. So it made me think, “Who can I tell this to? Who will believe it?”

Why is it me who sees the half mustache guy? And the guy peeing on the bush, in full view of traffic? Why am I the one who finds weed on the playground? Why does everyone drive by the dead bird, but it only flaps its wing hello when I drive past it? Why am I the one who gets approached in the street by the barefoot, shirtless, singing man at a blogger event? It’s like I have Obscure And Useless Radar. I always seem to pick up on the quirky, weird shit that nobody else ever mentions. But, just ask my husband, I’ll walk past a scrap of paper on the floor for two days until he yells at everyone that nobody ever notices anything but him. I didn’t even see that piece of paper! Really!

Thankfully, I have two witnesses who will corroborate the weirdest tale of all, Spaghetti Guy. I was driving my teenager and her best friend somewhere one afternoon when we passed a guy at the bus stop who was eating a full plate of spaghetti – on an actual, ceramic plate – with a spoon. He was angry, too, yelling at the bus as it approached, like he was angry he didn’t have time to finish his spaghetti. Probably angry at himself, too, that he grabbed a spoon instead of a fork when he decided to leave his house carrying a dinnerplate. We all just looked at one another, like, is this really happening? You see it too, right?

Do weird things like this happen to you, too? Am I just the only one who notices them?

A variation of this post originally appeared in 2011 on LaLaGirl.org

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Hey, it’s Laura

hi lauraartist • maker • etsy seller • adhd • autism mama of 4 teenagers (2 sets of twins!) •  she/her

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Laura Neiman
Happy Sweet 16 to my littlest ones! Love you more Happy Sweet 16 to my littlest ones! Love you more than words can say. ❤️
I couldn't find a better picture to sum up saying I couldn't find a better picture to sum up saying goodbye to 2020. Proud of my babies and their friends for soldiering on through endless disappointment and loss. Keep your chin up, kids! It definitely wasn't all bad and we have lots of peace and joy in our future. #happynewyear #f2020 ♥️
My seniors. ❤️ #classof2021 #grandviewhighscho My seniors. ❤️ #classof2021 #grandviewhighschool
Finally in my shop! Who wants one?? RBG "I Dissent Finally in my shop! Who wants one?? RBG "I Dissent" pins ready for your lanyard, jacket, backpack, or bulletin board. And on sale RIGHT NOW through election day! Save 20% no code required. 
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#rbg #notoriousrbg #scotus #rbgpin #feministgift #thefutureisfemale #riprbg #rbgforever
Bittersweet end to Wolf Pride this year! Our kids Bittersweet end to Wolf Pride this year! Our kids all worked so hard and put on brave faces while every parade was canceled. Lexi had her first year in Color Guard and killed it! Nikki is in her 2nd year and did so great. Mallory wrapped up 4 years and I loved seeing the three of them together. I'd cut off both pinky toes if it would give them a normal school year, but alas. Here we are. ♥️♥️♥️
#grandviewhighschool #grandviewwolfpride #marchingband #auroraco #ccsd
My best friend @oharafish moved 1,451 miles away b My best friend @oharafish moved 1,451 miles away back in July. Before she left, she got us these matching mermaid planters so we could see them every day and think of each other. This is the cute ass shit I miss. 😢 🎃 ♥
Willy Wonka for your water bottle? #tiktokwillywon Willy Wonka for your water bottle? #tiktokwillywonka
Certified Freak, 7 Days A Week! Holographic sticke Certified Freak, 7 Days A Week! Holographic sticker ships freeeeee 🎃
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